it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
when an animal doesn’t like me it really impacts my self esteem
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
haha my friends having his penis deducted at a catholic hospital and like before the surgery all the nurses prayed over his dick for a “fast recovery” haha
apparently one of them was holding his dick and the doctor was all like “let us pray” and the person just continued to hold it
[new text message/ 3:16 am]
I just drove 16 hours. I need to see you.
[new text message/ 2:09 am]
I’m drunk and I know I told you I didn’t want this anymore. But I want it. I want you. I’m sorry.
[new text message/ 12:13 pm]
Maybe if I could kiss you one more time everything would be alright.
[new text message/ 8:07 am]
Fuck. I shouldn’t have let you go.
[new text message/ 4:02 am]
Are you up? I miss you.
[new text message/ 4:05 am]
[new text message/ 5:16 pm]
I saw something that reminded me of you and my throat caught fire.
[new text message/ 12:22 am]
I wish you were here.
[new text message/ 3:17 am]
I need you. Please call me back.
WHAT A GIRL WANTS
WHAT A GIRL NEEDS
money for wrestling tickets